Back at the turn of the millennium, I was blessed to win a fantastic business award for innovation.

The truth is, I did not even enter; my then mentor and ex-Nat West bank manager turned 'Regional Head of Business Link' entered me.

It was not the first time someone saw something in me I could not see; he saw me as a cutting-edge thinker, someone that saw what others could not see.

Later in my life, I learned part of this is my dyslexia, and whilst young, this cramped my style as I thought I was less than and there was something wrong with me, nowadays I see it as my gift, and it's served me well.

Nigel, the former bank manager, having entered me into this award, turned up one day at my business to tell me to get myself a dinner suit as I was in the finals.

Look, I lived in Croydon, we don't wear dinner suits, so I had to hire one and off I went to the Grosvenor House Hotel in Park Lane London.

I have to say I felt very out of place there as this was nothing like my everyday surroundings.

Anyway, after the meal, we came to the awards part of the evening. Bill Baily, the comedian, was the Compare, and the awards were being presented by Trevor McDonald of News at Ten Fame.

There were three finalists up for The Innovation Award, Richard Branson's Virgin Atlantic, Sainsbury's and myself.

They showed a short film of each project, and Trevor opened the Golden Envelope and read out my name; I was stunned.

I was sitting at the back and had to walk a long way to the front, and I was so nervous I was shaking.

I walked up to Trevor, shook his hand and almost ran off the stage; there was no way I was going to make a speech.

Little did I know that this moment was a catalytic moment in my life, but the genuinely huge moment happened a couple of weeks later when I was asked to lunch by the very eminent judges of the awards.

And it was at this lunch they asked me the question that took me on a new path that led me to become a coach, mentor, trainer, speaker, and author, and that's just the business stuff.

This simple question re-engineered my whole life.

What are you going to do now you have won this award?

The beautiful question led me to, at that very moment, open up my mind and look into the future and what came out of my mouth stunned me because I said:

"I've effectively taught people how to keep fish for over thirty years, and what I have noticed when peoples fish die is they look to blame everything except themselves.

They can't see what they are doing that's not working and don't want their dead fish to be their responsibility; they want to blame someone or something else.

And when I go to their houses to see them, I see the real problem, I see them, the way they think, the way they live, the way they operate, and I know what they can't see; and that's they are the problem".

Then these words came out of my mouth.

"So what I would love to do going forward, having won this great award, is to help the people see what's not working in their life; yes, instead of helping the fish, I want to help people".

And that's how my life changed; my focus changed; without realising it, I had set an intention, and the universe conspired then to push me in a new direction.

Years later, another mentor of mine explained to me that everything that happens in your life is for a reason, and that reason is to assist you in making your next move.

And so it has come to pass; my thirty years getting my hands wet every day in aquariums taught me to live with nature and not against it.

To live with it is to be in flow; to live against the flow is stressful and exhausting, and sadly I see most people trying to swim against the tide, many fighting to make things work, money, relationships, parenting and more.

So that one question lead me to learn the art of asking powerful questions to people with relationship challenges. Nicki and my 'Couples Intimate Relationship Education Program' has over two hundred powerful questions in it.

These questions can open you up to see what you can't see that is not working. Yes, each of these questions can assist you in getting into the flow and stop you from fighting your partner and life in general.

So let me finish with a powerful question.

On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the best it can be and one is it's terrible right now, what number jumps out at you for your relationship life right now?

Come on, think of a number, that's it, what's the first one that came to mind, because that's it?

And, if that's not an eight, nine or ten, you are not inflow and are swimming against the tide.

And if you are doing it in your relationship, you are almost certainly doing it in other parts of your life too.

As the saying goes, 'The way you do anything is the way you do everything.

Why not grab one of our Complimentary Relationship Books or Products in the Tony & Nicki Relationship Store on our Website, here's the link - Tony & Nicki's Relationship Book & Product Store

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PS - The fastest way to get help with your Intimate Relationship is to book a session, go to Tony & Nicki's Home Page and watch the short video on how it all works - www.tonyandnickivee.com 

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