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ARTICLE - Is 'Blame' Killing Your Relationship?

Over the years, I have asked our audiences this question at our seminars and speaking gigs.

Who here like's being 'Blamed'?

Over the years, how many people do you think have put their hand up?

 NONE, not even one!

It makes sense then to assume humans don't like being blamed.

Here's the kicker though, we might not like being 'blamed', but we are dame good at blaming!

And what's the truth if someone blames you? What do you do back to them?

Sadly we tend to go into automatic reactive behaviour of which there are three key steps:

 We defend ourselves; I say we hold up our 'shield of defence'.

✖ We justify our reasons; I call this 'the sword of justification'.

✖ We dame well tell them it's not our fault, it's theirs! Yes, we blame them back!

Think about your last relationship argument; I promise you 'blame' will have raised its head at least one way and most likely both ways.

Now think about how it feels to be 'blamed'!

Now consider how it feels for them when you blame them?

Yes, it is obvious, we all feel the same, we don't like it, it feels horrid, AND the problem is we keep on doing it, most people do it for all their life.

The biggest challenge when 'blame' rears its ugly head in our intimate relationship is that we do a little more permanent damage each time we do it.

There are no winners in what we call the 'Blame Game', and the truth is, even when you think you might have won, in reality, you've lost a little more love and connection, and a gap between you grows ever larger.

Let's not beat ourselves up, though; let's acknowledge that, while not intelligent, modern humans have taught each other this down the generations, and it's pretty hard-wired into all of us.

In the words of 'Yoda', if we are going to improve our relationship results on mass, 'we have to unlearn what we have learned'

Nicki and I created the 'Couples Intimate Relationship Education Program' because no one is teaching how to unlearn the old and relearn anew.

Where there is blame, there is no love!

So in the program, we are super clear about what needs to happen to turn this around and start repairing and healing the wounds we have cast upon the person we professed we love.

If you fancy getting started right now on this healing process, a straightforward way is to think of a word opposite to 'Blame'.

Then whichever word you choose, start the process of using it proactively instead of 'Blaming' reactively, and you will have taken a tiny step on the healing path where love and connection reside.

We have a Free Training coming up soon, called:

'How To Stop Auments Without Compromise

& Connect Like You Did When You First Met'.

Why not grab one of our Complimentary Relationship Books or Products in the Tony & Nicki Relationship Store on our Website, here's the link - Tony & Nicki's Relationship Book & Product Store

Live Loving Life - Hugs TV

PS - The fastest way to get help with your Intimate Relationship is to book a session, go to Tony & Nicki's Home Page and watch the short video on how it all works - www.tonyandnickivee.com 

#relationships #lovelife #marriage #love #relationshipcoach  #couples #divorce #relationshipcounselling 

This Article is The Copyright of Tony & Nicki Vee and cannot be published in full or part without prior permission. For further information on this or other articles and their availability please contact: Tony or Nicki at: [email protected]