The problems we have as men we tend not to share, thinking, 'I can't tell my men friends, they'll think I'm a plonker, and I can't tell my partner she'll go mad - so we bottle it all up.

But bottling up our problems leaves us feeling like crap, and our days tend to be a grind, and when we are not focusing on the immediate job at hand, our work, which we may or may not enjoy, our mind drifts, searching for a way to feel better.

Men's minds drift to all sorts of things, and when they are not truly happy inside, they tend to drift to things that have a negative edge, which gives them a lift and makes them feel better, even if it's only for a short while.

I could kill a drink right now, let me have a fag, let me look at some porn; where could I get some cheap, easy sex right now? I need a fix; let me have a dabble on the gaming app; I need to eat; I'm starving.

So as the saying goes - What's your poison?

Looking back, I can see it so clearly, but at the time, I did not know what I did not know, and it seemed to me this is how you get through life because life with the wife is not what it used to be.

I have the job thing covered, and to be honest, I'm pretty dame good at it, and it's put cash in my pocket, so to speak, and I have the things I thought would make me happy.

Yes, I have a lovely house, a great car, a wife and kids; in fact, I have everything I need, everything I thought would make me happy, except that when I go home, something is not right!

You see, when I'm at work, I know my job, I know what to do, love it or not, I'm confident I know what I'm doing, but when I go home and put the key in the door, I don't know how to deal with what's happening behind that door!

The wife's not happy; her focus is on the kids and the dog; her family; I seem to be at the bottom of the pecking order of importance, and on top of that, she does not want to have sex with me in the way we used to.

Let me have a drink, and when she goes to bed, I'll watch some porn.

I knew what I was doing was not healthy. Sure drinking is socially acceptable, but that's until you drink too much and your behaviour becomes unacceptable.

But it's a drug, and while it's easy to say, 'Drink Responsibly', well, not when you're not happy inside, it's not; the drink makes you feel happy, so let me have another one!

So it's now late at night, the wife's tided and you feel a tad more relaxed now with a few drinks inside you, now I need some sex, I need an orgasm, that will make me feel better, but the wife's not up for it, so off to the late-night channels or the internet.

I wonder if there's anyone on here I could chat with?

This was my cycle of unhappiness in my marriage; what's yours?

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